Bougainvillea flowers and hummingbird feeder

What I Learned this Spring

I’m always thankful for the opportunity to join in Emily P. Freeman’s What We Learned link-up each quarter. It’s a good way to stop and reflect on some of the useful or just plain interesting things that I’ve been learning.

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Bougainvillea flowers and hummingbird feeder

 

Here are 8 different things I’ve learned this spring:

 

1. I guess carageenan is best to be avoided, after all.

After revisiting my note in preparation for this post which stated, “Carageenan may be safe after all (and perhaps even provide health benefits?)”, I cannot see any information that proves this point. Embarrassingly, I have no idea where I read this information, and in further studying it, I agree with most of the reputable sources that I can find that agree that carageenan is best to be avoided.

It’s a thickening agent made from seaweed and is used in many foods, even many that are considered healthy or organic, as well as toothpaste. It has also been used to treat some illnesses.

Both practitioner and teacher of integrative medicine, Dr. Andrew Weil, and well-known doctor of natural medicine (as well as chiropractic and clinical nutritionist), Dr. Axe conclude that carageenan is best to be avoided, as it is linked to too many negative health risks. It is said to at least possibly be responsible for health problems such as digestive issues, inflammation, diabetes and even cancer.

Even WebMd uses wording such as “likely safe” and “possibly unsafe” in their description of the side affects and safety of carageenan.

There’s been a lot of conflicting information bouncing around over the years, apparently, but for now I’m going to read more labels and attempt to avoid this questionable ingredient when possible.

Here is a nice list of food products that do and do not contain carageenan to guide us in our grocery shopping.

 

2. Love really does make the world go round.

It may have been a phrase in a popular old song, but relationships really do seem to be the key to true happiness in life.

In a comprehensive, 75-year Harvard study, tracking factors such as intelligence levels, alcohol intake, relationships and income, one of the conclusions is that love is “the key to happiness”.

“That’s right, you heard it straight from the horse’s mouth — love is everything. A person can have all the luxuries in the world, but without love, they mean very little.”

Knowing the importance of love in relation to happiness should help us to prioritize our important relationships all the more.

 

3. SPAM turns 80 this year!

This much-loved or intensely-hated canned pork “delicacy” has been around now for an official eighty years!

Watch this video to learn everything you ever wanted (or didn’t want) to know about the history of SPAM:

 

 

 

4. I just learned about the hair highlighting process of balayage, and had it done to my hair.

Recently I asked my hairdresser if we could do something a little different for my hair (beyond the “normal” coloring to cover my many grays, along with a trim), and she suggested some highlighting. I hadn’t had highlighting since the days when I only had a few gray hairs…so quite awhile ago!

So when she mentioned doing balayage, at first I had to ask her to repeat it, and then I needed to know what it was. It is a more modern, and more importantly more natural process to highlight hair. (You can read all about it here and see more samples.)

“Balayage is a French word meaning ‘to sweep’ or ‘to paint’. It allows for a sun-kissed natural-looking hair colour, similar to what nature gives us as children.”

It is rather a work of art, I think, and one nice feature is that each person’s results will be different every time, yet an agreeable look can be achieved to compliment the person’s features, coloring and hair style.

my new hair highlights

my hair highlights

my hair highlightsmy bayalage highlights

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

I’m quite happy with the results (although it was difficult to capture the full colors on camera).

 

 

5. I can find no proof that the “pinch test” for 100% silicone is accurate.

I have some cute  and handy silicone baking cups that I use sometimes in place of paper muffin cups, and silicone bake-ware has become more popular elsewhere than in my kitchen. One of the things that is, frankly, driving me a bit crazy, is all the hoopla about doing the “silicone pinch test” to see if your silicone pieces are 100% silicone.

The idea is that if you pinch and twist your silicone and see any white, your silicone is not pure; if the item is 100% silicone it will remain fully colored.

The frustrating thing is that although I can find multitudes of statements stating that this is a true test, from personal reviewers to many of the companies that make and sell these products, I have as yet to find one shred of evidence explaining whether this is true or not. I have also found several examples from companies stating that the test is just an internet myth; I even recall one company stating that they could provide copies of their tests or certifications.

My conclusion? Although the internet is an amazing and wonderful tool, sometimes it can still leave you empty-handing or just plain confused.

I think I’ll just continue to use my little silicone baking cups at my own risk.

I need a little adventure in my life, anyway. 🙂

 

6. Negativity actually rewires your brain.

OK. I admit it.

Sometimes I complain too much.

It’s something I’ve worked at, but it tends to be my natural response too often. And although I’ve always known it can be toxic to myself and others around me, after reading an article on How complaining rewires your brain for negativityI’m more convinced (or convicted!) than ever!

 

“Your brain loves efficiency and doesn’t like to work any harder than it has to. When you repeat a behavior, such as complaining, your neurons branch out to each other to ease the flow of information. This makes it much easier to repeat that behavior in the future — so easy, in fact, that you might not even realize you’re doing it.”

 

That’s the bad news, and there’s more.

Complaining also damages other areas of your brain, and is bad for your health.

The good news is, we can choose to curb this destructive habit.

 

 “There are two things you can do when you feel the need to complain. One is to cultivate an attitude of gratitude. That is, when you feel like complaining, shift your attention to something that you’re grateful for. Taking time to contemplate what you’re grateful for isn’t merely the right thing to do; it reduces the stress hormone cortisol by 23%. Research conducted at the University of California, Davis, found that people who worked daily to cultivate an attitude of gratitude experienced improved mood and energy and substantially less anxiety due to lower cortisol levels. Any time you experience negative or pessimistic thoughts, use this as a cue to shift gears and to think about something positive. In time, a positive attitude will become a way of life. 

The second thing you can do — and only when you have something that is truly worth complaining about — is to engage in solution-oriented complaining. “

 

I, for one, am going to continue on my quest (and ask God to help me) to turn my negative thoughts and words into gratitude.

 

7. Rumor has it that we can get a discount on coffee at Dunkin’ Donuts if we bring our own cup and order a “refill”.

Here is one of the many posts I discovered that claim that this favorite coffee and donut chain will give you a cheaper price on hot or iced coffee if you purchase a refill.

I have seen different prices listed for this “refill” order, and have as yet to ask at my local coffee shop to see if they provide this service. I also need to check to see if we need to purchase one of their brand name cups to receive this discount.

I’ll be asking next time I stop in for a coffee, as it’s certainly worth a try.

 

8. Actors Daniel Lissing and Erin Krakow of my favorite When Calls the Heart Canadian television series have done some singing together, and it’s really nice.

Are there any more “Hearties” out there?

Those of us who know and love this family-friendly, inspirational television series based on Janette Oke’s popular books have also come to love and appreciate the actors who make the story come to life.

I came across some music performed by Daniel Lissing and Erin Krakow (who play Mountie Jack and his sweetheart teacher, Elizabeth Thatcher), and I especially like this song.

I hope you’ll enjoy it as well.

 

 

 

Well, that sums up what I’ve been learning this spring. It seems that the busier I am the less I remember to stop and notice things I’m learning.

I hope you’ve enjoyed or learned something yourself from my list.

What have you been learning?

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backside of hand decorated wreath

Twisted Can be Beautiful

Welcome to my entry for the Weekly Photo Challenge, twisted.

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In our society, “twisted” seems to have gotten negative connotations. Sometimes this is obviously for good reasons.

But I believe that often we can find beauty and art in those objects or even life situations where things did not go as planned or turned out differently than we expected.

Sometimes we just have to make the best of what we’ve been given.

backside of hand decorated wreath

Hand-decorated wreath (backside).

I bought this cute, oval, grapevine wreath for a few dollars at a second-hand store. I then decorated it silk flowers and leaves I had left over from other projects. At first I thought that because I didn’t have any ribbon left from the larger wreath I had just finished at the time, I’d have to buy more for this wreath. But then I decided to use what I had and fashioned a design without the traditional use of ribbon or a bow. The twisted vines provide the perfect backdrop for my kitchen door wreath.

 

 

oval floral wreath on door

Proud of my pretty, economical decor.

 

I wrote more extensively about making something beautiful of our imperfections some time ago, and about using what you have as well.

Even twisted can be beautiful.

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my wet black mailbox with white post

Liquid Beauty

This post has been created for The Daily Post Weekly Photo Challenge, where the prompt for the week is liquid.

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A rainy day this week provided all the opportunities I needed for my liquid photos, right in my front yard.

 

my wet black mailbox with white post

 

 

wet copper hummingbird feeder

 

 

rain droplets on red and green bush leaves

 

 

raindrops on dwarf blue leaf arctic willow

 

 

magic carpet spirea in the rain

 

 

raindrops on car window and mirror

 

Beauty can be found anywhere, even in the rain.  We just need eyes to see and hearts that are open.

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shoe rack under windowsill with potted herbs

Place in the World

Today I’m trying something new. I’m participating in The Daily Post Weekly Photo Challenge. This week’s theme is Place in the World.

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Where do I belong? Where is my Place in the World?

My initial response is at home.

our shoes under kitchen window

…with my three tall, wonderful men,

cat and slippers

cat on chair pillow

…and my two boy kitties.

 

And although I love my home here in New England, I come from a neighbouring country.

coffee on car dash

Whenever I cross the border,

Canada US customs

…I feel a sense of relaxed belonging, even after twenty-plus years of living here in the US.

I still have family there, especially my parents, a 100-yr. old grandmother, and many close relatives and friends.

And on some vacations, if we keep driving north, we reach one of my favourite places on the earth, the Algonquin Park area. It’s a place shared by my original family and the one I’m part of now with my own husband and sons. We still meet here together with my parents and sister’s family and make new memories to add to those collected over the years.

We stay in cabins and soak in the beauty of nature for a week…

cottage dock at Oxtongue Lake

…relaxing,

Oxtongue Lake rowboat and neighbour cottage dock

…having fun together,

Oxtongue Lake evening canoe ride

…admiring the tranquility of God’s grande creation.

So if you ask me where I belong, I will tell you that these places inspire feelings of familiarity, comfort and peace.

But the greatest thing that unites them all is my family.

They are my place in the world.

Place in the World

Family plaque and photo

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bush shaped like a heart

Learning to Adapt My Dreams

bush shaped like a heart

Writing today for the Five Minute Friday link-up, where our word prompt is adapt.

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Do you have dreams?

I’m not sure I always do. In fact, a few months ago when I read or heard somewhere a question to challenge us to think about what was holding us back from our dreams, I realized with some dismay that I feel like lately I haven’t had any.

I naturally tend to get caught up in life’s busyness and “shoulds”, and often forget to dream for something bigger.

And I totally believe that there are some of us, in certain seasons, where we need to adapt our dreams to something bigger; something that only God can help us to accomplish.

But equally important, what if we were to accept the “regular” life we have right now, with all of it’s ups and downs, joys and sorrows, as God’s dream for our lives?

I read two different blog posts this past week that encouraged me to think a little differently.

One reminded me that God’s dream for me may be the life I’m living right now; the other spoke about how all of life is art and that we grow closer to God’s purposes for us in the mundane tasks of everyday life.

One of my favorite songs from Switchfoot challenges me that this is the life I’ve always dreamed of, or at least it can be.

 

 

So instead of focusing on the future, on what may yet to be (as wonderful or ordinary as it may turn out), I am learning to adapt my dream to the amazing and complex and awesome life that God has given me right now.

I pray that I may live each day to the fullest, accept God’s plan for my days, and choose to do the next right thing along the way.

May I adapt my dreams to love the life I’m living.

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If you’ve enjoyed this song, you may purchase the song or the album on which it appears, The Beautiful Letdown.

What to Do When You Feel Stuck

This post was written for the Five Minute Friday link-up, where the word prompt of the week is stuck.

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When I read the word “stuck” as our word prompt for this week’s link-up, it immediately resonated with me.

It wasn’t a completely encouraging realization, but it helped me to understand how I’ve been feeling lately.

We had a crazy year last year in some ways. I had a finger injury and surgery in the spring (which was a big deal for this non-medical-procedure-loving person), and then my husband had heart bypass surgery in the fall (which was obviously a much bigger deal!).

While I’m thankful that both my little surgery and my husband’s big surgery resulted in good recovery and improved health (it literally probably saved his life!), I’ve felt behind and overwhelmed since then. Even though, overall, things are going well, it seems like I’m still catching up.

I’ve felt like I can’t get ahead with decluttering, cleaning and organizing my home, my blog has been somewhat neglected as of late, and it seems like we’re just getting by in a lot of ways. I’ve been experiencing some different emotions lately and trying to figure them out as well. I think it’s just the “leftovers” from a trying year.

I wrote a post awhile back about what to do when your emotions are fickle, and I often realize I should read some of my own words for encouragement.

One day this week when the sun finally came out and I felt some spring warmth, it really lifted my spirits. I read some encouraging words of truth and that also helped me feel so much better. My husband and I completed one month of a good, healthy diet, and that made me feel good both physically and emotionally.

Sometimes we feel “stuck” for big, important reasons, and at other times, we can’t find a reason for our feelings or we struggle to understand exactly why.

So I’m writing this to myself, in the hopes that perhaps it will help someone else who’s feeling “stuck”, too.

These are some of the things that help me when I’m feeling “stuck”:

  1. Read or listen to some encouraging words of truth, and pray. – If you read the bible and pray, you will be reminded of how God feels about you and of his promises. Don’t forget to be quiet and listen as well. If you are not a believer, you can read something that lifts your spirits and/or reminds you of how special you are. You can also meditate on all you have for which to be thankful.
  2. Listen to music and/or do something life-giving. – Most of the time, a little good music goes a long way to helping me to feel better. I also find that doing something creative makes me feel alive. Spending some time outside in nature really feeds my soul.
  3. Spend time with those you love and/or those who are good at what you’re struggling with. – Being with people who like you always seems to help emotionally, and if I can chat with someone who’s been where I am or can help me with my problem, that is precious.
  4. Take a baby step. – Just do one thing to move in the right direction. This is so true of decluttering and cleaning, but works in most situations. Doing “the next right thing” can help us go from “stagnant and stuck” to at least progressing in our area of difficulty.
  5. Ask for and accept help when needed. – Sometimes we can’t do it alone. Whether it be a loved one, a trusted friend or even a professional, sometimes we just need a little help. Don’t be afraid to admit you’re imperfect and need support.
  6. Take care of yourself. – Often we are just in need of a good sleep or a nap, we need to take a break or even a vacation, or we can simply be hungry or thirsty. Sometimes we can boost our TLC with a healthy diet and some exercise. We aren’t any good to anyone else when we are not caring for ourselves.
  7. Give yourself grace. – This doesn’t mean to stay in a non-productive or negative state, but it’s OK to be nice to ourselves and recognize that there are times when we need time to process, think or heal.

These are just a few tips that I will continue to try to put into practice.

If we make even a small effort to do something positive, we will not remain stuck for long.

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Blue and pink sunset

All The Other Things

Blue and pink sunset

 

This post has been written for the Five Minute Friday link-up (even though it’s not Friday), where the word prompt of the week is other.

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Sometimes it seems my life is consumed by all the other things.

Does this happen to you? At the end of many a day, I realize (and sometimes complain aloud), that the thing I really wanted to get done didn’t happen.

I know I’m not alone. And I know it’s not easy.

But I desire to do more with my days than just all the other things.

Yes, I know that life is busy, and that responsibilities require us to give much of our time to things that may seem mundane, yet we need to find a way to do the things that matter.

Of course there are circumstances and seasons where we have little to no choice. Having a new baby or more than one young child, being the sole provider for your family, nursing a sick loved one…..these are all legitimate times when we may have to really sacrifice for a time, just to survive. (And I hope if you’re in a place like this, you reach out for help and accept it gratefully and with no guilt.)

But in our “normal” lives, we need to create space for thought & relaxation, find time for activities that fulfill us, and do something that gives us life.

So take care of your other responsibilities, but make sure you fit the “big” things in, too. Do the things that really matter and make a difference in your life, and be sure that some of them bring you pleasure and joy.

It may feel selfish to spend time on ourselves, but if we do, we will find we are better equipped to help the others in our life.

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afternoon sun shining through winter trees

What I Learned This Winter

afternoon sun shining through winter trees

I’m linking up with Emily P. Freeman’s What We Learned link-up, where we are invited to come together to share the interesting things we’ve learned, whether serious, silly or somewhere in between. Here’s a list of some of the things I learned this winter.

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1. I have officially joined the Instant Pot craze.

OK. Maybe I’m not quite crazy, but I am growing more and more fond of my Instant Pot almost daily. There seems to be almost a “cult following” of this incredible machine.

Thinking back to what made me take the plunge on this past Black Friday Amazon sale, I have to admit that I don’t love to cook (although I truly love baking!), especially when I feel tired or short on time. And I liked the idea that I might be able to pull together a last-minute meal even with frozen meat.

Enter my new Instant Pot Duo 8 qt.

There is a learning curve to this machine (and I’m sure there will continue to be much more to learn and explore), but already in the past few months, I’ve grown to love the speed, convenience and variety of uses for my pressure cooker. I have already discovered several new meal ideas to be made all in one pot that will remain family favorites, and hope to share more on my blog as we go along.

making homemade yogurt in my Instant Pot

First try for making homemade yogurt.

 

pasta meal in Instant Pot

“Mystery pasta & meatballs”, made from a variety of leftovers combined (a mystery because I will never be able to repeat it).

2.  Smart people know and remind themselves of how much they do not know.

This interesting article suggests that although it’s clearly helpful to read books and put what you’ve learned into practice, it’s also beneficial just to have many books on your bookshelf. For real?

books I'm reading

I love to purchase good books and have every intention of reading them (in fact, it’s one of my goals for this year), but often by the time all is said and done, I own a lot more than I actually ever finish reading.

The author suggests that having lots of good books keeps our desire to learn aflame and encourages us that we have much to learn and far to grow.

So just maybe this little book fetish of mine is not so frivolous after all.

 

 

small book pile3. I just read how (& why) the Dewey Decimal System came to be.

I have a part-time job I really enjoy as a library assistant. As such, I’d still never given a lot of thought to the Dewey Decimal System, and why most libraries choose to arrange books in this way.

One day at work, my supervisor came out with a statement that numbers were used because they are more intuitive/easier to remember than letters.

That thought intrigued me, and though I cannot find the research to substantiate that exact idea, it did lead me to read the interesting story of Melvil Dewey and how he came to design the Dewey Decimal System. The author writes,

“What’s obvious to you, the jaded library patron, wasn’t so obvious in the era before Melvil Dewey. Once a creative genius comes up with an innovation, a century later everyone thinks it’s obvious. If you think it’s so easy, you come up with a system for classifying all knowledge that ever was and ever will be.”

I’m just glad Dewey did this work, and didn’t leave the arranging of much of the world’s books to me.

 

4. There are many interesting and unknown facts about my most favorite holiday (Christmas).

I’ve always loved Christmas, and have always made it’s celebration a highlight of our year. Since I’ve been celebrating for over 50 years now, I’d like to consider myself an expert on the holiday and it’s traditions.

But in reading these “18 Mind-Blowing Facts About the Holidays”, I’ve discovered that there are still many facts about the origin of common Christmas traditions that I did not know. While I’m certainly not surprised that “Americans ship an unbelievable amount of gifts” (I’m quite sure over half of them arrive on our online-ordering-loving doorstep), I was surprised and intrigued to learn that in Canada, “Santa has his own zip code”, “Xmas doesn’t remove Christ from Christmas” (the letter “X” comes from the Greek alphabet and relates to Christ), “Mistletoe was believed to be an aphrodisiac”, and that “Rudolph was almost named Reginald”.

 

5. The latest road conditions can be obtained by calling 511.

We all know to call 911 in an emergency, and most of us have called 411 when we needed directory assistance (although perhaps our “more modern” friends have only relied on the internet for most information?), but until now, I had never heard that there is indeed a 511 call as well. This is the number for America’s Traveler Information. By calling this number, drivers can receive “up-to-the-minute travel and traffic information”.

Good to know.

 

6. A male ballerina is called a ballerino.

I never realized that the word to describe a male ballet dancer is “ballerino”, although after we went to our first performance of The Nutcracker, my friend & I (and especially our husbands who attended with us), will forever have pictures of “men in tights” etched in our minds.

Also interesting to note, is that these titles actually refer to more specific ranks of dancers and that French and Italian have their own names for male and female ballet dancers as well.

 

hot drinks and snowpeople

7. I want to celebrate Christmastide.

I love Christmas!

This Christmas season, I learned something new & wonderful in one of my devotional readings. In Loving My Actual Christmas: An Advent Devotional by Alexandra Kuykendall, the author explains:

“Did you know that the church calendar has an extended Christmas season built into it? We call this stretch of days Christmastide. This period begins on Christmas morning and goes for twelve days, ending on January 6 with Epiphany and the arrival of the magi to the Baby Jesus.”

In fact, I can really relate to how the author feels about this special celebration, although I too have never officially participated in Christmastide. But my family has always found a way to stretch out the Christmas celebration and make this time of year last a little longer. What better way than to celebrate for twelve days after?

If you wish to know more about Christmastide, here’s some more great information that will help to explain more details.

 

Christmas tree and cat

 

8. It’s more environmentally responsible to get a live Christmas tree than use an artificial one.

Well, there’s a bit more to it than that, which you can read here. I, for one, am glad to finally hear some good information in defense of one of my favorite holiday traditions.

And here’s a bit more Christmas tree trivia: after doing a bit more research, I also found out that the first artificial trees were made by a toilet brush company out of their brush bristles.

I may never look at an artificial tree the same again! 😉

 

9. Cooking in a pressure cooker is actually a more healthy way to cook. 🙂

In reference to my point #1, I am happy to have learned that pressure cooking is indeed healthy. I could try to explain the details and convince you in my own words, but I think I’ll suggest you read this very thorough article instead:

According to studies, pressure cooking retains more nutrients than any other type of cooking, it makes grains and legumes easier to digest, increases the digestibility of protein, and can be a good choice for a quick, healthy meal, instead of resorting to packaged, processed foods or take-out.

Just one more reason to love my IP! (That’s short for “Instant Pot”, which you would know if you can relate to point #1)

 

10. Gerber hired their first Gerber Baby with Downs syndrome.

Most of us have grown up recognizing the company’s trademark Gerber Baby.

Since 2010, the Gerber company has held a contest and chosen a special baby to be their “Spokesbaby”. For 2018, baby Lucas Warren has been chosen, and is the first baby picked with Downs syndrome. He captured the hearts of the Gerber team, and there are hopes that this choice will encourage positive change for those with disabilities.

I’m quite sure that if you watch this video, you’ll fall in love with him, too. ♥

 

11. L L Bean is changing (down-grading?) their return policy.

After many, many years of boasting one of the very best return policies out there, L L Bean has decided to change their return policy.  This decision seems to be mainly based on the fact that a small percentage of customers have somewhat taken advantage of their excellent policy. The company suggests that this change won’t affect most of their loyal customers, and I’m not sure exactly how it will affect my future relationship with them, but I guess time will tell.

 

12. I just learned about the benefits of weighted blankets.

I had never even heard of a weighted blanket until very recently.

Hearing that they may help relieve various symptoms affecting sleep, such as stress & anxiety, ADD/ADHD, sleep disorders, PTSD and even autism, makes me curious to try one. They are said to trigger the release of serotonin and melatonin, chemicals which reduce stress and improve sleep.

Sounds like a fairly risk-free idea to help improve one’s sleep!

 

 

 

Tessa Virtue and Scott Moir Canadian Ice Dancing Olympic Champions

Tessa Virtue and Scott Moir – Canadian Olympic Ice Dance Champions

 

13. The 2018 Winter Olympics gave me my first glimpse of K-pop music.

K-pop stands for “Korean Pop Music”, and my first introduction to this modern form of music was watching the closing ceremony of the Winter Olympics this February. It’s an interesting combination of various musical styles and genres and utilizes audiovisual effects. I found it quite different and entertaining.

 

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Thanks for reading my list of What I’ve Learned this winter. If you made it to the end of the post, I hope you enjoyed reading and maybe learned something new, too.

 

 

 

Late afternoon sunset over parking lot

When We Want to Ask Why

This post is written for the link-up at Five Minute Friday, where this week’s word prompt is why.

 

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Late afternoon sunset over parking lot

 

In this week’s devotional reading, author & speaker Jennie Allen is speaking to me about suffering. It is a deep and painful topic, but something with which we all must come to terms.

She says,

“I am a big believer in Christian counseling, and that may be an important step in your healing, but no study or counselor can do what Jesus can do. He suffered and wants to walk with you through your suffering as the open wounds heal into scars, leaving a memory and a mark but losing their sting.”

That last sentence reminds me so much of the outcome of my younger sister’s suffering as her first husband went through four years of fighting with Hodgkin’s disease. He had good seasons and bad and even underwent a bone marrow transplant, but in the end, God chose to take him home at a very young age.

Not too many years after that, on one particularly significant date in their relationship, I asked her if the memory was still painful. I’ll never forget my sister’s answer to me at that time. She told me that with the passing of time and the healing she had worked through, it was as if the experience was tucked into a folder, which she could pull out when needed, but it no longer caused her daily hurt. She could use her experience as a tool to help others, but it no longer had to live in her heart.

I also think way back to when my grandfather passed away early on the morning we were supposed to leave for our family vacation. As I awoke as an 11-year old with the anticipation of leaving on our trip, I immediately sensed that something was wrong. My parents explained that Grandpa had suffered another heart attack and had gone on to be with the Lord.

Of course I was sad and would work through my own grief as I watched the pain of my grandmother and mother, but in that childish moment, the first question I tentatively asked my parents was if that meant we weren’t going on our vacation. I knew the answer, but my heart still felt disappointed in the moment.

I don’t even remember exactly how my parents answered (except that we would go later on), but I clearly remember that even though my mom had just lost her father, she understood my question and allowed me to first grieve the loss of a vacation before I processed the greater loss of our loved one.

These experiences are two of many times of suffering we have known, but they teach me something about pain, suffering and loss.

I think it’s OK to ask God the question, “Why?”, as he understands our frail human emotions. It’s only natural to ponder the reasons for hard experiences, and we’d be lying if we pretended everything was just fine. After all, the Bible speaks of many people of faith who asked God these hard questions.

But in the end, it’s a matter of the heart.

Do I trust God enough to believe, even in my questioning, that he loves me and is faithful?

I have a choice when it comes to my times of pain and suffering.

I can choose to dwell in the hurt and questions, or I can allow myself to grow, stretch and heal, until one day the experience is there only as a testament to his faithfulness and a reference to help others.

Jennie Allen also states,

“Out of our pain we could heal our world. Fires are lit in our lives through our suffering and they can burn to shine light or cause destruction; we get to decide which purpose they will serve.”

So go ahead and ask the hard question, “Why?”. I’m sure that God’s shoulders are big enough to handle it.

Then make a choice to allow your why to become a part of the greater purpose that God has for your life.

*****

 

 

 

 

 

 

Sunny winter sky over buildings

Being Intentional with our Intentions

Sunny winter sky over buildings

 

Today’s post is written for the Five Minute Friday link-up, and the word prompt for this week is intentional.

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Can I let you in on a secret?

Being more intentional has been on my thoughts and mind for some time now. It’s an area where I feel like I need a great deal of improvement in my life, although in some areas I am very disciplined. When I was naming my blog, I originally wanted to use the words simple or simply and intentional. They were both thoughts that I believed to be important areas for myself and other women (or men) to implement in our daily lives to live successfully (flourishing).

On my childhood report cards, I generally had really good grades often accompanied by the constructive comment that I needed to work on being self-motivated. As an adult, I’ve still had trouble with time management. I seem to be able to be quite disciplined in some areas, but lacking greatly in others.

And so I want to be more intentional with my intentions. 

You’ve heard it said that as individuals we generally judge ourselves by our intentions (what we mean to do) and others by their actions (what they actually do). Apparently this idea was originally quoted from Stephen M.R. Covey,  He is well known for his book, The 7 Habits of Highly Effective People, so his wisdom in this area is not surprising.

So just how can we accomplish more of what we desire, and better yet, what God desires of our lives?

That is something that in middle age I feel like I’m just starting to really learn. I’ve been actively taking some steps to make better use of my precious time. So at least I know where to start.

I know that my goals or intentions, if you will, will only come to fruition if I take practical, measurable steps. It will require some planning and ideally a good deal of praying, but in the end I just need to move forward with discipline, one baby step at a time.

Being intentional requires planning and action.

The first definition in the Merriam-Webster dictionary for the word intentional reads,

“done by intention or design”.

Won’t you join me in designing a more intentional life?

My good intentions can only come to be when I learn the discipline of being intentional.

*****